I’ve been chronicling my journey to my VBAC and I can’t complete my story without a few words about the Hypnobabies program.  If you’ve been reading my VBAC series, then you know my husband and I did the Hypnobabies home study course.  I’m going to be completely honest and say that we never finished the course.  The course was divided into 6 chapters and we really focused on the methods in the first 3 chapters with a quick skim of chapter 4.  Something happened so that we just lost focus.  I did, however, keep on listening to the guided meditation CDs.  I listened to disc 5 almost everyday on my way to work or in any free second I had in the car by myself (not to worry it was the disc approved for listening while driving).

Despite the fact that I didn’t use the hypnosis techniques, I do believe the Hypnobabies course gave me a wonderful perspective with which to approach my labor.  That coupled with the meditation track I swore by were the grounding points for me throughout my labor.  Like I mentioned in Farrah’s birth story , the Hypnobabies CD track I listened to in the car ride to the midwife’s office and then to the hospital put me in an amazing state of mind to get through my labor.  I was in an insane amount of pain but I had control over my mind which allowed me to stay centered and focused on the prize at the end of my journey.  It also made it easier for me to remain calm through moments where I could feel myself coming close to the edge emotionally – checking in to visit my midwife, checking in at the hospital, during the car rides.  The power of your mind and the power of chanting really made my  VBAC successful.  I spent a lot of time chanting key phrases from the Hypnobabies CD and it astounds me still how powerful those words were in getting me through the worst of my contractions.

I can honestly say that I couldn’t have done it without the Hypnobabies.  Perhaps other folks have even greater results using the hypnosis techniques but just the concept was enough to get me through my labor.  I highly recommend the method to anyone serious about having a vaginal birth.

I can’t say that Hypnobabies was the sole factor in my success.  Another key element was that I surrounded myself with people who truly believed in the wonder of an unmedicated vaginal birth, as well as the possibility of a successful VBAC.  With Dessa, I didn’t really seek out a support system aside from my husband.  This time around I had folks both in real life and online who really believed in what I wanted to accomplish.  I have to pay a special thanks to Kelly who came to our home for our natural childbirth class and was encouraging throughout my entire pregnancy.  She even was supportive throughout my labor sending me encouraging texts throughout the day.  I also found some amazing folks on Twitter who encouraged me with their own stories or with tips for a successful VBAC.

So if you’re hoping for a natural, unmedicated vaginal delivery I can, from firsthand experience, tell you that Hypnobabies does work and that surrounding yourself with a great support system can really set you up for success.  A big thank you to Hypnobabies and to all the wonderful people who kept me positive right up until the end.  Thanks =)

I did it!  My baby and I did it!  Our newest family member, Farrah, arrived precisely on her due date Wednesday May 13th at 3:44pm via a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean).  Despite all the bets on a Mother’s Day baby, Farrah decided to be that rare baby who proves the “guess” date right.  Onto the birth story.

I had my doubts about my baby being born on her due date.  Worst case scenario I imagined my labor would go like my first and I’d deliver a day ahead of “schedule”.  So when the 12th rolled around and there were zero signs of labor I took extreme measures…well extreme measures for a big, frumpy, exhausted pregnant lady.  I had sex.  As a back up, I had my husband employ some massage techniques on labor inducing pressure points on my feet and ankles.  I’m not sure exactly which one did the trick but around 4am on the 13th I woke to some solid contractions.  I was so excited about them I couldn’t sleep and just lay there breathing through them and bubbling with excitement.

I dozed off and woke up around 6am with Dessa who was bright eyed and bushy tailed and had no idea what the day had yet to bring.  I let my husband sleep for a bit while Dessa and I enjoyed some breakfast and play.  My contractions were relatively strong (a 3 on a 1-10 scale) but still far apart.  Once Jeremy woke up, we kept about doing things around the house and even watched a bit of  movie when Dessa went down for a nap.  Around 9am, though, the contractions got particularly strong and I decided to take a nap to store up some strength.

I got in bed and put in my Hypnobabies CD.  I truly believe those CDs played a major role in moving my labor along; they allowed me to relax my body so that things moved pretty quickly.  After lying in bed for an hour, I decided to get in the shower.  The strength of my birthing waves by now had moved from a 3 to a 5 so a warm shower seemed appropriate.  The shower was amazing and really did ease the pain of the contractions.  After my shower, Jeremy called his mom to come hang out with Dessa while we labored on (no pun intended).  I also called my midwife to let her know what was going on.  She advised us to keep an eye on the contractions and if they didn’t meet the 5-1-1 rule to drop by her office near closing to make a plan for the evening.  So we labored on at home.

Jeremy went to get in the shower and he told me to just tell him how many contractions I had while he was in there, not to worry about timing them.  As he was getting ready to step in I got the first of level 7.9 contractions (I’m ranking it low because what was to come makes these early contractions seems like cake).  The contraction was so powerful I was afraid to be alone with Dessa so I told Jeremy he had to figure something out.  He ended up taking a shower with her which she loved and was great because I could focus on managing the pain.  It was during his shower that we both realized how far into this labor we were.    While he was in the shower I walked around the house – swaying, humming, bouncing on my exercise ball, leaning on the wall, breathing, laughing – and I’d shout to him which contraction I was on while he was in there.  Quickly we realized they were really close together, long lasting and intense.  In less than 15 minutes I was easily up to 10 contractions.

His mom arrived at our house and by that point I couldn’t even have small talk with her.  I remember at one point she was telling me a story and I just had to walk away into another room to be with Jeremy.  For some reason it took us forever to get out of the house.  Our bags were packed but we kept thinking of last minute things to do and I was overcome with nesting wanting to clean this and that little area of our home.  I imagine we left our house around 2pm.  I feared the car ride because I didn’t know how I would manage the pain sitting down for a 20 minute car ride.  Again, I turned to my Hypnobabies CD and it was truly a lifesaver.  The car ride was insanely easy to manage.  And by easy I don’t mean I didn’t feel any pain but I was focused and centered and my mind was completely in control.  It helped too that we made it to the midwife’s office in about 12 minutes.

I clung to the chants in my Hypnobabies CD.  Anytime I felt myself coming close to losing control or getting too emotional or off center, I’d rub my belly and remind myself that the pain was necessary to get my baby into my arms.  I reminded myself that the stronger the contractions got the closer I was to holding my baby.  I won’t lie – I was shaky from the moment I left my house.  I know now I was in transition but then I thought I was just being emotional.  The CDs were a key factor in getting me through.

My midwife examined me and with a giant grin announced I was 6 1/2 cm.  She told us to go to the hospital and that I could bypass the triage and get admitted right away.  She said she saw us having our baby within the next 4 – 6 hours and that she had a few more patients to attend to and then would meet us at the hospital.  So off we went.  We made it to the hospital in about ten minutes and the contractions kept on getting stronger.  As I was getting signed in I couldn’t believe how powerful the sensations were; I felt like they could truly break me.  And I mean that literally not emotionally – I really thought the contractions were going to break bones and organs inside.

The woman admitting me was asking way too many questions and suddenly I had to take the biggest poop of my life.  I asked her where the nearest bathroom was and she asked why.  I told her I had to poop.  She said something but I can’t hear a word she says at this point and I had to get my point across and I said, “No listen I have to shit my brains out.”  The look on her face changes and she shouts to the triage nurses to get me on a bed and into a room because I’m having a baby.  They rush me into a triage room and onto a bed but all the while I’m keep telling them – Look I’m not having a baby, I promise…I just have to shit my brains out.  They assure me that’s what the urge to push feels like.

The hospital midwife comes over and they tell me we’re going to a room to have a baby.  I get wheeled up in a bed that I refuse to lie down in so I sit instead.  Finally in the room, they tell me they have to examine me now since it seems like I have to push so badly.  She confirms I’m 10 cm!  It blows my mind and just like that I’m ready to push.  Somehow I imagined more guidance though I’m not sure from who.  I kept asking ok so what do I do and they just said follow your body and bear down when the urge to push comes on.  I was like – huh?  What the heck is bear down?  How do I do this if I’ve never done it before?  Some one give me instructions!

So I follow my body’s cues and kneel on the bed facing the back of the bed where your back normally lies.  I hold onto the bar behind the bed and have Jeremy push into my back during each contraction.  I can’t describe this pain.  It’s like nothing ever before yet somehow I’m insanely in tune with it and attentive to what my body needs.  My midwife can’t make it yet so the obgyn she practices with arrives and he does a wonderful job of letting me do my thing.  He steps back and tells me to just listen to my body.  He steps out of the room and I keep laboring.

I almost forgot!  Before I turned to kneel on the bed, I was sitting in an almost completely verticle position and having a contraction.  I felt like more should be happening but it was just my mind getting confused with all the Hollywood images of labor and what was actually happening.  I kept asking them, “Doesn’t anyone want to take a look down there?  How will you know to be ready to catch the baby?”  So to appease me, the hospital midwife sat on the foot of the bed and leaned over to take a quick peak at what was going on down below.  Like  a perfectly choreographed movie scene, my water broke all over her.  Like not a little splatter but more like a giant water balloon burst into her face.  It was hilarious and just what the occasion called for.

So right, I’m bearing down.

The bearing down and contractions are beyond intense now.  I feel as though my whole pelvis will burst with the force of the head of my daughter.  At the same time I am shocked at the power of my uterus and can’t imagine how any infant can survive the pressure of a contraction.  If my head were being squeezed with such intensity, surely I’d be dead.  I tell them how it feels as though she is right there and sure enough she’s crowning.  They make me turn around to push her out; they tell me she will arrive in this next push.  I look in the mirror I’ve requested and can’t quite compute what they’re telling me.  All I see is a grayish white thing peeking out a long peep hole – it doesn’t register.  So the contraction arrives and I bear down like my life depends on it and then a bit more and she bursts into the world.  Her head and very, very shortly afterwards the rest of her.

Then it’s like any other day.  I have a baby on my chest and I feel fine, like myself and in the moment and awed.  I keep saying out loud, “Oh my God!  I just had a baby come out of my vagina!”  The two key phrases for the day were “I have to shit my brains out” and “I just had a baby come out of my vagina” I said those two things more times than I can remember.  It’s such an amazing experience to deliver vaginally and without drugs.  I don’t knock anyone who has a c-section (duh I had one) or who takes pain meds (duh I took them with Dessa) but if you can, I strongly, strongly encourage women to give natural childbirth a try.  I am amazed by my body.

Two weeks ago Jeremy and I had the pleasure of having childbirth class in the comfort of our own home thanks to the kind and wonderful Kelly.  I have to admit I wasn’t sure what to expect going in especially since we’ve been doing the HypnoBabies self study course.  However, and I mean this, it was mind blowing.  It was one of those instances of being told something simple and completely uncomplicated that was just staring us in the face but that we hadn’t ever realized.

Going into the class I expected to talk about the physical details of what happens in labor and then some techniques to manage pain.  Nothing out of this world and just some reinforcement for what we already knew.  Kelly took things a step further beyond my expectations by teaching us the importance of having an actual game plan for labor.  And I’m not talking about pack your bag, have friends on speed dial, map out directions to the hospital type plans.  But a specific, actionable plan for getting from contraction to contraction.

With my labor with Dessa, my plan was very high level and completely overlooked being prepared for labor itself.  I had so many details worked out but none that related to getting me through the contractions.  Sure I had a mental list of pain management techniques but not the right perspective to put it all together.  Kelly used Penny Simkin’s Road Map of Labor to illustrate how a game plan can be beneficial.  The map emphasizes building the three Rs – relaxation, rhythm and ritual – into your labor.

When Kelly mentioned the three Rs and showed us the map, something in me just clicked.  Labor is a natural process our bodies are built to endure.  To be able to endure it, you shouldn’t bring life to a halt and just wait around for contractions (what I did in my first labor).  You should create a kind of dance that relaxes you, builds a rhythm from one contraction to the next and establishes rituals to center you.  With Dessa, once contractions got really uncomfortable I lied in bed to rest and waited for each contraction.

With the information Kelly shared with us, I understand how valuable it is to have activities to do while in labor.  I intend to stay home as long as possible so I’m putting together a list of things I want to do while I’m at home – bake, craft, clean.  It may sound silly but if you think about it, it makes sense for labor to fit into the practices of everyday life.  One of the things I want to do is bake goodies for the hospital staff that will be caring for us while we’re in the hospital.  The HypnoBabies course mentioned this actually and I love how thoughtful and full of purpose this activity is.

In addition to activities, Jeremy also learned how important his role is in helping to establish the three Rs.  He’ll be hanging out with Dessa and I as we bake and craft, and much to his dismay clean.  But he will also be an important part of helping me to relax, develop rhythm and create ritual.  For me, I think the relaxation portion of things comes into play with the activities.  The more occupied the more relaxed I think I’ll feel.  I also think having Jeremy and Dessa with me in our home is going to have a great and calming affect on me.

The activities will also be an integral part of creating a rhythm from one contraction to the next.  Having something to go back to after each contraction is going to be a great way to weave my labor into the day (and/or night).  The ritual portion speaks volumes to me because I am a ritualistic person – they soothe me and center me.  Kelly suggested we use physical ways of establishing ritual.  One exercise she showed us is to have Jeremy give me a massage after or during each contraction.  She emphasized that the amount of pressure doesn’t matter as much as making sure to just do it (good news for Jeremy since he detests giving massages).  A specific technique she had us practice, involves simply working his way from my head down placing his hand and steady pressure on parts of my body (head, shoulders, face, arms, etc.) and me simultaneously focusing my breathing.

This class made me realize that sometimes you need an expert to weigh in to bring it all together.  For all the reading and self-education we’ve done, we never would have thought to bring it all together in this way.  What’s more we gained something I think we didn’t realize was so important going into labor – we’re both a lot more confident.  I say both and I know I speak for Jeremy because after our last class he said he was actually really excited about the birth.  I don’t think he could have said the same thing last time.  Last time we were excited about the end result but not the process.  Now we’re excited to experience all of it from beginning to …well beginning =)